playwright, sound designer, semicolon whore, web pundit and satirist unextrordinaire

You know there’s something you need right here and now
To fill the space inside of yourself, oh, with money, love or power
When you want to have the number one first run anyone
You’re crazy ’til you own them, You ought to know better than that, girl
The more that you buy the less you get back, you could say

(Hall and Oates, Possession Obsession)

I was never really that anal about grammar. And I guess I never really am, which is weird for a writer but then again I’m not a good one in reality. But recently, I have been really, really annoyed at certain grammatical mistakes. That’s why that there are times that I just really, really, really enjoy writing something as nonsensical (aka. full of nonsense) as a blog entry that doesn’t really demand me to be all a-hole on grammar. So you shouldn’t too.

Oh, about the grammar anality? You don’t really have to know. If you’re a friend, you would know. But then again, I don’t have much friends.

So, what’s the set-up all about?

I noticed a single Facebook wall post on my profile that really caught my attention. It was posted by a friend of mine, Marah Giron. Of course, someone puts something in your Facebook wall, you ought to assume that you’re friends, right?

First of all, yes, even girls bullied me back in the day. And it really scarred my psyche, until I found out the amazing distraction that is online pornography.

But unto more pressing matters

If you notice, she has misused the possessive apostrophe unto my name. Now normally, I would just comment on it on my Facebook wall; but, it dawned upon me to really understand the possessive case of the peculiar name structure that is my nickname.

Back in elementary, we were taught that on making one’s singular noun a singular possessive noun, one must affix an apostrophe and an “s” at the end of one’s singular noun to make thus possessive. But back in the day, we weren’t taught grammatical rules by our teacher using the word “one” and  ”one’s” because we they assumed we were stupid. So, stupid people, I shall use examples of singular nouns turning into singular possessive nouns.

CAT → CAT’S
(e.g. BJ Crisostomo shaved the cat’s whiskers because he is a mean, mean boy.)

PEN → PEN’S
(e.g. The pen’s tip is oozing with ink. In tagalog, we say: ‘tumatae ang ballpen’.)

DOG → DOG’S
(e.g I hate dogs. They’re disgusting.)

and finally

CHESKA → CHESKA’S
(e.g. Cheska’s cute, although I like her more with short hair.)

Oops, sorry. Wrong usage.

But I guess you get the gist of it all, right? And in fact, if you don’t get it prior to the stupid examples means that you deserve to stay in elementary.

Those were easy nouns. Now we go to more complex cases of singular possession– my name.

With singular nouns ending in “s”, they jury’s still much out since we all know to basically omit adding an additional “s” after the apostrophe.

So, where to turn to in this time of need? I consulted the only unbiased source in the whole world– this wikipedia entry.

If the singular possessive is difficult or awkward to pronounce with an added sibilant, do not add an extra s; these exceptions are supported by The Guardian, Emory University’s writing center,and The American Heritage Book of English Usage. Such sources permit possessive singulars like these: Socrates’ later suggestion; James’s house, or James’ house, depending on which pronunciation is intended.

Classical, biblical, and similar names ending in a sibilant, especially if they are polysyllabic, do not take an added s in the possessive; among sources giving exceptions of this kind are The Times and The Elements of Style, which make general stipulations, and Vanderbilt University, which mentions only Moses and Jesus. As a particular case, Jesus’ is very commonly written instead of Jesus’s – even by people who would otherwise add ’s in, for example, James’s or Chris’s. Jesus’ is referred to as “an accepted liturgical archaism” in Hart’s Rules.

So, my name and my possessive form is the haven of grammatical anarchy! It could be whatever I want it to be. It is fun that my possession is reflective to that of Jesus freakin Christ! Hopefully one of these days you’ll see me walking on water, healing the sick and feeding five thousand people.

Oh crap. There’s crucifixion involved as well.

So, that’s your grammar lesson for the day, kids. And just in case you were really looking for a post relating to 80’s pop music, here’s Hall and Oates with their hit single Possession Obsession.

Enjoy